Turning in the Right Direction :)

I love when I worry about something and then it ends turning about the best way it could.

Today's session it was the best thing EVER.

I don't say that about therapy often...I really don't!!!

Well, I'm sure your thinking what could be so great about therapy? It's the moments when you realize that there is a little light at the end of a very very dark tunnel. Seriously, and I'm not just being a cute little quoter I'm serious! :) I have realized that I have been hurting myself for such a long time. (I should add in here that we were talking about why I have eating and self harm behaviors...) That I'm afraid to change. To be able to start seeing the undamaged me. Start to be able to see the girl within me past the countless years of abuse and torture I endured, past the scars of my cutting, past the missed meals, past the purged meals, past the bulling, past the stalking, past the rape, past the molesting, past the sexual harassment, past all the moments that have been so ingrained in me. And all though those things are in the past I still have/ and will have urges to go into my behaviors, still the memories, still the flashbacks, and nightmares, the fears, and the depression... But I will be able to start working past them so they become actual memories not something that is taken up the valuable space called my PRESENT life.

Now this is not going to be easy nor is it a "fix".

I will still engage in my behaviors I will still have flashbacks and nightmares. But it will get easier in time!!!

I am taking the challenge...
RECOVERY IS MINE :)