Sometimes I think food hates me. Now I'm sure this sounds really illogical and I'm sure it is for any semi-sane person, unlike me!
And I'm sure this is just the eating disorder talking, although technically it really doesn't have anything to do with food itself.
Well if that doesn't make sense I'm sorry, I feel very out of it... And just needed to get that out there.
I think I'm really planing on asking to do some kind of treatment that's more intensive that this outpatient I'm in now. My Dad called me fat and everything is so out of portion. Or is it! No one should call someone fat, especially my father right? What does someone do when they get called fat, by someone they love or are "suppose" to love?
I'm crazy sorry.
omg. im so sorry to hear your dad called you the "dreaded "f" word." my great aunt used to say that to me when i was in recovery. when i had anorexia, she said it looked like i was gonna die. and then when i gained weight, apparently, i was too fat. i could never just be. i was either too small or too big. it was annoying, and broke my heart every time. so im so sorry you had to deal with that! my dad comments on my eating behaviours a lot...ie. "you don't eat enough", "you need to eat something", "you're eating too much", "why did you take so many potatoes"...etc...and its a horrid experience each time. i feel like it pushed me INTO my eating disorder, as i feel i will cope better if i just don't eat at all...or something like that...like you, i think i need more intensive treatment, but im really hesitant bc i was just in inpatient last year, and ill hear from my dad, "why aren't you better yet? why do you still need to go back? i don't understand". my mom gets its more, but nobody really gets it unless you are eating disordered. hold your head up lovely. your dad is just oblivious about the world of eating disorders, just like my great aunt and my own dad. we're all crazy, and crazy can be good! xoxo a
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